19 November 2006

Rambling from a couch

I've recently had to begin to come to terms with the fact that I don't have that many people in my life. I have a good number of friends, sure, but I'm really not the type that randomly calls people to hang out or has people calling me to hang out (at least not as often as people call my boyfriend). My boyfriend and I are two separate people when it comes to that. He has a lot of different friends who will call him just wanting to grab a drink. I have a few close friends that I plan to hang out with, but it doesn't usually happen spontaneously.

Part of this could be chalked up to the fact that I have moved to a new city and had to make some new friends, while he is getting ready to move and is still surrounded by people he's known for a long time. But to be fair, I'm just not the type to have a huge group of people that I hang out with. I've had moments in my life when that was the case, but I would always end up clinging to a best friend or a boyfriend and alienate everyone else. This is basically why my senior year of college was a rebuilding year of sorts. It was my first college year alone, single, and I had to realize that I'd previously based all social activities on my ex-boyfriend. I had one friend that stood by me (sorry I don't call much anymore, Kevin). I slowly made new friends and became social again, and eventually met my current boyfriend and was introduced to his circle.

And then I moved. I knew a few people in Austin and was living with my cousin, but everyone already had their groups formed and I was going to have to find my own. I have met new people and have definitely found a very small (for now) niche in this town. But I still find myself sitting alone on the couch most nights. And really, I can't blame anyone but myself. I either forget to call people just to say hey, or I just don't find myself wanting to do something at the end of the eight hour day. I'm not sure how exactly to remedy this, or if it's even something that needs to be remedied. Is it necessarily a bad thing that I'm a bit of a loner at this stage of my life? I don't always want it to be this way, because I do enjoy seeing my current group of friends (both in Austin and Huntsville) and I always feel good after hanging out with people. But it's difficult for me to initiate social activities with others.

Having a small group of people surrounding you isn't a bad thing. But at some point I've got to remember to reach out to everyone so that my small group doesn't turn into just me.

And my god, the Cowboys beat the Colts. Romo, you crazy kid, you pulled off the best upset of the year.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't worry. I'll be there sitting on the couch with you very soon.

Kim

Norma said...

This is a dilemma and puzzle that will always be with you.

I'm stopping by as a member of NaBloPoMo. I have 10 blogs, but this is the only one that sees much action, Collecting my thoughts. Keeping writing! And calling.

superbecks said...

Call me whenever.