12 January 2007


This is funny.

10 January 2007

I realize...

...that this is probably too much information, but:

You know how in the restroom at the doctor's office they have instructions for what to do when you have to give a urine/stool sample? If yours doesn't, they probably assume you know how to pee in a cup/poop in a whatever (I've been fortunate enough to not have to poop into a whatever) and wipe it off. The office I go to doesn't. Which is probably a good thing, as sometimes I forget that others would rather not touch my urine if they can help it.

Anyway, I noticed last time that there are instructions for wiping yourself as well. As in, don't wipe from back to front. And it got me thinking about how one learns to wipe. I don't remember my mom ever actually saying "front to back," I just remember her doing it. And so I did it.

Did some people have mothers who were too busy to teach them how to wipe? Or told them the wrong direction? Because it seems to me that it's just plain gross to wipe from back to front, especially after a stool sample.

I feel that this kind of absurdly cautious direction is on par with "Be very careful. Coffee is HOT."

Oh. My. God.

Please go here for more.

I want

09 January 2007

Double ugh

Just had another conversation about my apparent lack of motivation towards my life. My co-worker and I happen to be in the same boat. I'm still a young 'un (not yet a quarter century, at least not until May) and I still have what seems like a lot of time. And really, these days you can make a fresh start in your 60s and still have plenty of time, so I've got no need to freak out right now. And yet I am.

I'm scared not only because I don't know what I want to do, but because I have no idea what I'm good at. So far it seems I'm only good at office work, and there's no way I want to end up doing this in the years to come. I can't stand it. Sitting in front of a computer for 8 hours a day looking for work to do is not fulfilling.

But what else am I good at? Nothing comes to mind. I'm not good enough at this to pull a Dooce, so blogging is out. I was never that good at my chosen college major, so Theatre as a profession is out. I was only OK at my minor, so English is out. I don't have a lot of patience, so teaching human beings younger than 18 is definitely out. I'd like to have a career like music or something, but I have no guts and no training other than Mom teaching me piano. I can play some, but I have practiced in years. And my voice is really only mediocre as opposed to recordable. So music's out (at least until my friends let me be in a band with them.....but I've got to get band friends first). I'm vaguely interested in places like Harry Ransom Center, but I've never done anything like that. I'm going to take a class in Information Sciences, so we'll see. But as of now, that's still out. I'm also vaguely remembering my enjoyment of a Linguistics course in college, but at this point that's only a small blip on the radar.

This is depressing me. I just don't know what the hell to do, and I've felt this way for close to two years. If I don't have something figured out soon, I don't know how far my depression's going to take me down. I realize that something will happen at some point and I shouldn't be so impatient, but man this is hard. Anyone with an awesome career opportunity needing an awesome college graduate with mostly awesome hair (today's a bad day) can hire me. I'll be your dream employee. I'll also wash your dishes.