I'm old

I've recently discovered that I'm old. It's been creeping up on me lately, but now it's just obvious. Here's why:

a) I think I'm constantly talking about how something on my body hurts, whether it be my head, my shoulders, my legs, etc. This may just make me a hypochondriac or an annoying jerk, but I think it makes me sound old.

b) I have thoughts like, "How do those kids only get a few hours of sleep one night and want to party again the next night? Don't they get tired?"

c) I usually eat immediately when I get home from work (or from aerobicizing). When I come home from work, I usually walk in the door around 5:30. By 6, I'm eating my dinner.

d) On most Fridays, I'm good until 10 PM. Then I collapse in a heap on my bed, wondering how I got by on so little sleep in college.

e) A lot of people under 20 bother me. Not all, but most. They're loud, obnoxious, have no regard for others, and usually have more money than me. Bitches.